Arrested development

Once again it feels like my life is going nowhere.

I'm between existences. I'm busy doing nothing, is the right answer to what have you been up to?

People have the nerve to say that looking for a job is a job. Well, let me tell you it's not.

The only place to look a job these days is online. So everyday I send my CV to a few new opportunities that pop up on my screen, and everyday I wait next to the phone for hours, until the next day comes.

I've tried to take it out to the streets, but no one wanted to talk to me.

I've been told to go back home and send my CV by email.

"we will call you" (dumbass!)

There is no point to go outside, and frankly it is depressing out there.

When you don't have a job (or a life for that matter) all you see outside are busy people hurrying to their work place. And even if those people are just sitting outside it's probably their day-off or cigarette break.

You're just absolutely sure that everyone is living a full meaningful life  but you.

This blog is all about the journey. 

But since my life is in suspended animation, so is the journey.

How many times can I write about having nothing to write about?

Inspiration and imagination get positive expression when I'm challenged.

I feel like a child without any toys, or colour crayons, or even a rotating mobile above my head.

It's like watching a national geographic show about the life stages of a moth, and you're watching the cocoon part but it is not fast forwarded. 

I believe they call it "arrested development".

So by writing about having nothing to write about I hope to do the opposite, and actually inspire myself to write more. This is the only technique I know that might work.

And on that note I think I'll hit the gym, the most uninspiring place I know. 

Only Britain is great!

I <3 British everything.

I like British Films, telly, slang ("I like clunge" =) ), accents and the bloody weather. 

If it's grey with a drizzle or even scattered showers then I'm psyched. 

I think it is brilliant saying the word 'brilliant'. 

I can answer almost all the questions on the weakest link, hell, I luv Anne Robinson. I think she's adorable.

I know that the answer to a question about a kids TV show is always 'Blue Peter", and I've never watched Blue Peter in my life.

I get a hard-on every time I see Rowan Atkinson and Steven Fry together on Blackadder, and let's not forget Hugh Laurie (our beloved grumpy House)

I can't even write the word 'favorite' because I have a British dictionary installed on my computer.

So my favourite afternoon form of entertainment is going to the pub (god forbid I should have a local one).

And I haven't even mentioned the music and the literature, and wait... I also love the food and the fashion. 

It truly is a love story. 

I drink my cup of English breakfast tea (with milk of course) that I made with Twinings (of London) and me kettle.

Don't you just love the word kettle? Don't forget to put the kettle on. 

I read my Nick Hornby novels and watch a Simon Pegg film on the telly. 

Cheers! - such a useful and fun term to use.You can say cheers hello, and cheers goodbye, and cheers to that, and cheers (wham bam) thank you ma'am, and cheers mate! 

Unlike your lame Shalom (by Jewish people) or Aloha (by fat people).

Even my thoughts have their own British accent, and sometimes it's Irish.

I know that GB is comprised out of England, Scotland, Wales (LOVE the accent. LOVE Rob Brydon) and northern Ireland. 

But to me Ireland is a magical place as well. I don't discriminate.

Irish are red hot brilliant drunk magnificent people. They gave us whisky and lepricons, and Guinness - I'll have a pint please. 

Guinness - it's good for you! it is!

Everything is hilarious and everyone likes to drink, but "desperation is the English way" (Pink Floyd) which makes it so fucken brilliant.

I've been to London more times than the number of women I've shagged.

Embarrassing, but it's the truth.

Fancy a shag luv ?

Let's talk fashion and character.

Goth teen, punk adults, posh ladies, a cock in a Jag, running suits and high heels - you can find all of these and other hip combinations of outfits standing together to buy tickets for a Cliff Richard concert

or just at the Natural history museum, sometime even holding hands. "I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND!"

Everybody is smart looking in his or hers special way and that is customary.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

I need a pint.