Oktoberfest - because beer is food! (day I)

We got up at 9:00 every day, and by 10:30 we were drinking beer and shouting out drinking songs in German, with a bunch of drunk people. Man, I had a fucking blast. We sat next to all sorts of people from all over the world, well mainly Americans, don't know why. Beer brought us together. In beer we trust - together we drink, divided we fall and wake up with a hangover. 


On the first day we we're so tired and the first beer hit me like a derailed train. It spun me into the arms of the woman sitting next to me, she accepted me, gladly. I remember her wacky friends calling us "The chosen ones" I guess because we're Jewish and from Israel. They were a happy bunch and made our first day at the festival memorable. I can't really say I remember much of the conversation, but I remember everything felt good with a mixture of alcohol and jetlag.


After two or maybe three beers, a decision was made, let's hop to another tent and try a different beer. Well, that was an ambitious move, or maybe just a wrong move. Moving in general was hard. I remember climbing out of my sit and somehow finding myself outside back in the arms of that open hearted lady, all the while, her good friend was puking and/or fainting (I was obviously not paying any attention). I was holding my hat in one hand and my coat with the other, while my arms were around her, and at the same time tried to grab her arse. It's funny I still cared about the hat, I didn't want it get dirty. My friends were standing there beside me, laughing and talking in Hebrew about the situation, just loud enough for me to somehow pay attention to them. Eventually we departed, mainly because her friend needed medical attention.


We barely made our way back to the apartment. It's a miracle we didn't end up lost or in need of medical attention as well. I remember waiting at the bus station, crouched in the corner, wasted. We than slept for like 16 hours and woke up the next day to drink again!

Every day was a new challenge which we accepted!

On the edge of change

The room is clean and bright. In the middle of the room stands a white oak desk, next to it are two matching wooden chairs. The eastern wall is made out of a large window that opens into a garden, light and green. At nights, it is lit by Chinese lanterns that are neatly hidden, so you can still enjoy light from the moon and the stars. The northern wall is lined with shelves from the floor up to the ceiling. On those shelves is an old collection of books and records. To get to the top shelf you have to use a ladder, which lies on a built in rail. You can hear instrumental music playing from every corner of the room. The music is subtle and creates a brilliant atmosphere. But this is not the reality I live in, this picture only exists on my computer screen. The walls in my room are mostly covered with dirty white paint.

"Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes…"

David Bowie is singing on my stereo. Bowie himself didn't believe it would turn out to be such a time-warping, ground breaking hit. Our lives are not standing still. At any given moment external and internal changes occur. Some days look the same but the ripples keep morphing their shape as they follow the stream. The waves keep crashing towards the shore, to make room for the next ones. This picture might seem gloomy, but the insight from it is important and is liberating. 

The second year, out of three, of my BA in Psychology which has come to an end, carried many changes with it. Time changes you and you can't trace time. But I can follow the trail it left in my head and recall. I realize that as I recall time changes everything again, but I can't help it. I often recall the times when I didn't believe in change, but these days it seems more and more like a distant memory. This thought makes me happy.

At the beginning of my second year I got to taste the fruit I've carefully cultivated the year before. But it didn't stop me from planting new trees. Some trees have strong roots and will survive anywhere, and some like bonsai trees need more attention.

I grew a lot this past year. I'm more connected with my emotional side, which makes me happy. A change I was hoping for (in hindsight). I owe a lot of this growth potential to the people I got to meet this year; (I spent 5 hours each week, talking with patients, at the hematology-oncology ward), Strangers that shared their ideas, hopes, dreams, thoughts, ups and downs with me. They were all coping with a reality that no one hopes for. The conversations we had and the guidance that went with it, made it very life changing for me (yes, I said life changing – you can punch me now). I got to see more and more of the puzzle. I'm truly glad to have experienced that. 

My High-school literature teacher told us once that you shouldn't congratulate people with "You are great, and I hope you stay this way" because it implies no change! And change is something to look forward to, scary as it is. I'd like to use the word more and change its connotation to positive development. At times like these, I find myself at awe of the optimism I'm showing, quite disturbing, but not in bad way. I guess it’s a part of the change. 

I'm not an antelope!

This is the really short version of the two months I spent studying for a major exam. This exam sometimes outweighs the entire BA degree, when one is being considered for his Masters degree by the admissions Committee. 

So I took a special course to prepare for it:

First meeting

We met at the student's union building. The entrance was at the top of the mountain and the lift took us 3 floors down the mountainside. The meeting, according to the sign at the entrance, took place at the bottom floor, so into the lift we went. A drop I can't say I fully recovered from (well, maybe I have but it sounds more dramatic this way). 

Stacks of different colored books were lined up on tables, croissants and coffee too. In between the crowd I met a few smiling faces, friends that got there earlier. At the tables we presented our ID's and were handed heavy bags with books in them. I shoved the big bag into my backpack, which made me feel like I was carrying the weight of full diving gear outside the water. I hoisted the backpack on my shoulder and made my way over to the coffee stand to grab a cup. Adjacent to the room we were in, was an amazing balcony. The balcony stood on a slope and provided an amazing view of the bay. There was a nice breeze that helped carry the heat from my body. The heat was building up since we got there. I was already nervous. I felt my pulse rising. Although this was only a formal meeting and the course didn't even start yet, they made us take an exam. I knew they didn't expect much and that it didn't mean anything, but it was still a test. 

At these situations, my body usually has a mind of it's own. And in this mind I'm an antelope that is being chased by a starved crazy uber-lion. It thinks I need to lose weight in order to run faster  - that is a nice way of saying I can't leave the toilet for a while, which is a nice way to say that I can't stop...well you get it. 

I realize it's only a test and that it isn't a life/death situation but my body is not listening. Why won't it cooperate? my pulse is firing a million rounds a minute and my pupils are widening - and I'm like, seriously? I'm not a bloody antelope. Stop this at once! Have you ever heard of an antelope playing "Angry Birds" on the toilet? 

A month later

I was half way through the journey that leads to the final and painful exam. It was a Saturday, and I was having a light meal and cup of coffee, as I was getting ready to take a 3.5 hours simulation examination. This was my first simulation, one of many to come. This was a short version of the exam, not a proper simulation. The actual exam is 5.5 hours long. I remember shifting a lot in my chair and getting up to wash my face a few times. At the end of it, I was tired, I had headache and my throat was dry. 

...............

I spent the two months studying like a maniac. I woke up every day and sat next to my desk to study. Hard. I spent most of my time answering questions and reading articles and answering more questions. It was frustrating, extremely demanding and sometimes unbearable. My mind was always busy. I did allow myself to go out, drink (mostly water and in moderation), and hang out with friends (study buddies). It all sounds very nerve wrecking and it was. I was actually doing OK compared to others, but it definitely got to me. If it didn't get to you, well then you should probably consider a career as a hired gun man, or admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital.

Nevertheless, I did learn new things about myself. I've learned that my will is as strong as an ox and that I'm flexible enough not to break under such pressure. I made new friends, visited new places and expanded my view a little more.

D-Day

I was the first one out. I handed in my exam and stepped out of the classroom. A guy and girl were walking towards me, the girl was holding a floating Sponge-Bob Balloon. "Are you the first one out?" she asked me, and I nodded 'yes' with my head. "Is this for me? I pointed at the balloon. She smiled and said "no, I'm waiting for my friend to finish". I carried on, out of the building, slowly realizing I'm free, I don't have to get up tomorrow and study like crazy. The exam was finally behind me. The exam was hard as expected, but I had a good feeling. I gave it everything I had. And now there was nothing left to do but wait.

12 hours after the exam

I'm in a cab on my way to the airport, on my knees is a big pointy hat. I'm very tired, because just after the exam I went with two friends to celebrate at a bar. When I got home it was already dark outside, and I had to start packing. I just couldn't bring myself to pack the night before the exam. So I got very little sleep, and in the middle of the night I took a cab to the airport. At the airport I met my friends and we boarded a plane to Munich, Germany.

About 6 hours later

We climbed out of the underground station and on to the street, alongside many others to celebrate Oktoberfest, the closest thing you get to an adult version of Disneyland. 

to be continued...